Initial Launch: Please watch for icebergs

Come along with me, brothers and sisters, for the maiden voyage of the Cinematic Titanic. That would be the new project from Mystery Science Theater 3000 creator Joel Hodgson, “Dr. F” Trace Beaulieu, TV’s Frank Conniff, “Mrs. F” Mary Jo Pehl, and J. Elvis Weinstein. Huzzah!

In spite of my moderately critical review, I’m incredibly glad they’re all back, and I laughed a great deal while watching the new release. It’s got its weak points, and you can tell most of the gang hasn’t riffed in a long-ass time (unlike the Rifftrax/Film Crew gang), but the point is they’re back and they’re going to be around for a little while longer, or until Joel burns out again. Five people is a bit much, but it’s completely worth purchasing.

Now that I’ve said all that, you’ve got no reason to click on the review link. Not that you would have before. I know I’m catering to a niche audience of 30 people when I talk about MST3k, but it’s my niche, damn it! And they’re my people!

Riff Randal, rock ‘n’ roller!

I’ve been looking for an excuse to delve into the works of famed auteur Roger Corman, and thanks to The Crawling Ear’s take on my favorite musical of all time (that includes The Nightmare Before Christmas and Hedwig and the Angry Inch), I finally have an excuse to delve deeply into the remastered Rock On Edition of the only film starring the Ramones and that girl from Halloween, Rock ‘n’ Roll High School.

When Roger Corman sold the rights to his New World Pictures releases to Buena Vista, I figured there’d be some bargain-basement releases forced out without much actual thought put into it. Color me surprised when this special edition of a classic Roger Corman movie gets released with a decent amount of special features.

Read the full DVD review here, fellow students of Vince Lombardi High.

Ron’s Big Score

Bender’s back, baby! And I wrote up a review of the DVD/movie! WHOOHOO! Swag for everyone! And by swag, I mean boring old words!

EDIT: Man, Adult Swim really blows without Futurama. I mean, I love Shin Chan and all, but… too much Family Guy.

Happy Nude Year (now go click some links)

So, my dear cousin poisonous plant is giving away a Shrek 3 DVD over at Home Ec 101, so go here and leave them a link or a comment telling how you’d keep your kids busy for the 10 minutes necessary to go to have that early morning bowel movement in relative peace.

As for me, I’d sit my kids in front of the TV as often as possible until they learn to read, then hopefully I’d sit them in front of the TV with a book positioned somewhere nearby so that when they get bored of Dead & Buried (though how could you, given how awesome the DVD is, so click on that link and read my review of Jack Albertson’s last role), they’ll be forced to read some high fantasy novel like Scions of Shannara or Magic Kingdom for Sale–SOLD!

For those of you who won’t see this until later, enjoy some death metal and a fireworks display from our friends at World of Warcraft (well, WoW did the fireworks, the video maker added the heavy metal).

Santa at the Drive-In

Everyone has a favourite holiday. For people like me, that favourite holiday is Halloween. The airwaves are full of horror movies, websites indulge in theme weeks celebrating underappreciated horror films (ahem), there’s lots of candy and treats, pumpkin-flavored beer, cool costumes, and general indulgence of our darker natures. Then, there’s the antithesis of Halloween: Christmas.

Ahh, Christmas, the all-consuming black hole of the winter holiday season whose approach means big money for stores of all sizes, shapes, and genres. This is one of the few times of year I find myself beyond miserable, and that time of year is starting earlier and ending later every year. Any holiday or pseudo-holiday in Christmas’s orbit is sucked in, subsumed wholly, by the Christmas monolith.

First, Christmas came Chanukah, and I said nothing (after all, I’m not Jewish, and my Jewish friends say that Chanukah isn’t such a big deal for them as Christmas is for everyone else). Next, Christmas consumed Kwanzaa (which I didn’t care about, as Kwanzaa is a completely invented holiday made up in the late 60s and has never had a bigger meaning). Then, it ate New Year’s, and I said nothing (Christmas decorations stay up until the New Year most places). Then, Christmas came for Thanksgiving Day, and I said nothing (mostly because I ate too much turkey and kept falling asleep in front of the television). Thanksgiving is merely the day before the official launching point to the Christmas shopping season in America, the ominously named Black Friday. Now, Christmas comes for Halloween, and there is no one to stand with me (or at least complain loudly on the Internet).

But, perhaps, not all hope is lost for redeeming this holiday season, even though the only person who knows my grandmother’s custard recipe is my aunt. I mean, I did receive The Simpsons Movie on DVD for an early Christmas present.

So I got that going for me, which is nice.

Plus, there’s always Joe Bob Briggs’s Christmas poem and Joe Bob Briggs’s Christmas Special videos over at the Wittenburg Door to make me grin dumbly and explain why I spent three hours looking for/at Joe Bob clips on YouTube.

Ron <3 Greasy Space Monsters

Two reviews at Den of Geek last week: Alien and Aliens. It’s about time I put my massive collection of uber-expensive DVDs to use and do some DVD reviews.

Fortunately, they were two of my best DVDs and not, you know, The Real World You Never Saw: Miami, where Cora shits like a moose and clogs the toilet.

Author’s Note: Sadly, I do own The Real World You Never Saw DVD. I bought it at the used DVD store for $3 thinking there’d be nudity. Of course, MTV screwed me out of the boobs that their false advertising led me to believe there were. Sigh. It’s a show full of drunk, slutty women who take showers together, why can’t you get at least one boob in your uncensored DVD?! Come on, people!

The Warriors (1979) Ultimate Director’s Cut DVD Review

Navigation: The animated menu is very clean and easily navigable, featuring a video montage of clips from the movie, and the trademark synth-rock “Warriors” soundtrack. Unlike some heavily animated DVD menus, this one causes no slowdown or freezing, even when the menu loops. Audio/Visual: Widescreen DVD, enhanced for 16×9 TVs, featuring Dolby Digital 5.1, 2.0, a French mono track, and English/Spanish subtitles for the deaf and/or foreign. The video is absolutely gorgeous, especially when compared to the TV version, and the DVD features the addition of comic book-style panel swipes that seem to be a source of much debate amongst the Internet. Some hate them, but I like them and I think they add a nice touch to the flick, as does the short explanation of the Greek myth upon which “The Warriors” is based. A clean, crisp, beautiful new look and sound for this neglected classic.

Extras: Four mini-documentaries (each about 15 minutes long) detailing the back-story of the movie “The Warriors,” critical comments and reactions on its theatrical debut, the anatomy of the fight scenes, and how the film became a phenomenon. Also included is a short apologia by Walter Hill, the original theatrical trailer, and previews for upcoming Paramount releases.

Supplemental: One drawback I’ve noticed more and more with DVDs are the inclusion of the myriad “Coming Soon” trailers. If you count the advertisement for the “Warriors” video game, this DVD has SEVEN of them, but they’re easy to skip, as is the brief apologia. They’re mostly just a pet peeve of mine. It would have also been nice to have more special features added, but it’s not advertised as a Deluxe Special Edition, it’s just the Ultimate Director’s Cut.