Carnosaur 2 (1995) Film Review 4/5

You know, there’s something magical about the film that results when you mix John Savage, radioactive material and nuclear warheads, and bloodthirsty genetically-engineered killer dinosaurs. Nobody puts a movie together like Roger Corman. He manages to combine minor-league talent, uncovers new hidden talent, and makes awesome-looking movies on a shoestring budget. “Carnosaur” is no exception.

Yucca Mountain Nuclear Waste Depository has a little problem with the wiring. You see, something keeps coming along and ripping all the wiring out of the walls. Also, that same something keeps eating workers. Instead of calling “Tremors” gun nut Burt Gummer, Tom McQuade (Cliff De Young) call a bunch of electricians lead by Reed (John Savage), Ben (Don Stroud), Monk (Rick Dean), and the girls Sarah Rawlins (Arabella Holzbog) and Joanne Galloway (Neith Hunter, who dies ASAP). Also, there is young Jesse (Ryan Thomas Johnson) who survives an initial Carnosaur attack and who, of course, manages to become super-important in the end of the flick. Isn’t that always the way?

The electricians go in and start trying to fix the damage, but lo and behold, the Carnosaurs from the first Carnosaur have been hanging out in the pools of toxic waste buried deep within New Mexico or wherever the fuck Yucca Mountain is, and now they’re really pissed off and hungry for human flesh. Really, can you blame them?

The dinosaurs get loose, people start to die, nuclear containment gets seriously out of hand, and best of all, a giant Carnosaur engages in the best ‘giant monster/forklift’ fight since the ass-end of Alien. As expected from Roger Corman, the flick is crazy as hell but looks spectacular. The Carnosaur models and the puppetry and the gore effects are simply out of this world, looking even better than a great deal of Hollywood slashers.

The fact it took us this long to do a review of this classic creature feature shocks and shames me. The noble Carnosaur has too long been trampled beneath the cold metal treads of the forklift of human ignorance. Carnosaurs, despite their fearsome reputation, are actually quite shy and gentle creatures, who ordinarily eschew every sort of publicity. If it weren’t for we wonderful folks at Living Corpse, why, the Carnosaur may go unnoticed, because Carnosaurs can’t use computers and are entirely too modest to write glowing reviews of their own movies.

Carnosaurs keep to themselves, when they’re not eating migrant workers and terrorizing electricians, but their numbers are dwindling. Ever since the tragic incident at Yucca Mountain, Carnosaur breeding grounds everywhere are under siege by careless and thoughtless men, seeking to shoot and kill the noble Carnosaur with flare-guns and dynamite.

How long must this tragedy go on? How many more of God’s beautiful Carnosaurs must perish before we humans realize the folly of our ways? Ladies and gentlemen, I implore you, hug a Carnosaur today! All they want is to hug you back… with their jaws.


One Response to “Carnosaur 2 (1995) Film Review 4/5”

  1. King of the B’s « Subtle Bluntness Says:

    […] Click on to read about Corman’s eye for talent, Pam Grier in a women’s prison, and of course everyone’s favorite dinosaur movie, Carnosaur 2! […]

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