Dear Blade Runner,
Thanks a-fucking lot. I hope you’re out there somewhere, gun in hand, ready to kill this thing. If you’re not, you’re seriously sleeping on the job. I don’t need to see a Voight-Kampff test to know this monstrosity is pure evil straight out of Uncanny Valley. Curing polio = good; killbots = bad.
I don’t want to have to call Michael Biehn, but I’ll do it. Don’t force my hand here. He’s not as good as you are, but I know he can get the job done, and he’s not even close to being a replicant.
This thing is seriously creeping me out right now. Make it gone. ASAP.
Thanks in advance,
PS: I can hear you now. “Oh Ron, nothing can be that creepy!” “It’s just a harmless scientific tool!” “Think of the potential for sexbots in the future!” Well, I don’t need a sexbot if it’s going to be evil, thank you very much. You fucking pervert. Blow-Up Wanda still works just fine for what I need her for. Staring into those cold, black, dead eyes is a certified mood-killer, regardless of how nice the robojugs might be.
Just watch this unaltered footage and see the evil ooze off that monstrosity. They even programmed it to come with its own evil cry and frightening soundtrack!
PPS: Besides, look at your average scientist. You think he knows what a boob feels like? Of course he doesn’t. If I wanted cold, fake, and soulless, I’d call Paris Hilton.