Normally I’d write up or find an older gushy “I love my Dad” piece and post it here, but I don’t feel like crying right now. So instead, I’ll just wish everybody a happy father’s day and gay it up with my emotions later on tonight. Until then, find that crazy old man and thank him for making you insane.
As for me, I didn’t know what in the world to get my dad. He’s got a jacket, gloves, and boots for when he rides his motorcycle. He got himself new sneakers and new houseshoes this week, thus interfering with the traditional Father’s Day shoes gift. He’s not the kind of person to want a lot of things; what he does want he doesn’t wait for someone else to get for him. So, I got him junk food.
I was going to get him one of those Pepperidge Farm Vanilla cakes and some ice cream, but they didn’t have any of the vanilla cakes. So I got him a Dutch apple pie, cherry cordial ice cream, some of that rancid nacho cheese in the plastic tub, and a bag of Ruffles to eat the rancid cheese with. I suck at buying people presents for holidays, so food-based treats will have to do.