let me find my Viagra totebag

So if you watch a lot of late night cable television, as I do, then undoubtely you’re familiar with the man known as Smilin’ Bob.  And just why does Bob have that creepy Soundgarden “Black Hole Sun” music video smile on his face?  Simple; Smilin’ Bob knows the joys of Enzyte.

Enzyte, as you probably already know, is an all-natural male enhancer.  That means it’s a bunch of supplements and ancient herbal secrets designed to improve your pathetic, useless genitals.  Much like crack, the first dose is free, but after that it costs you. 

It must sell really well, because those commercials air constantly (and competing product Extenz, sold by Ron Jeremy, has all but disappeared from the airwaves).  I saw one of the commercials tonight, in the plush timeslot between the end of Mind of Mencia and the beginning of South Park.  Not only did you get your first month of Enzyte for free with the 60-day money back guarantee on all unopened product, you also got a free gift.

And what was that free gift?  Why, the one thing every proud Enzyte customer would want!  A free Smilin’ Bob teeshirt!

Err, right.

Now, I’m not the target Enzyte customer.  I don’t drive a sports car, I don’t play golf, and I don’t dye my chest hair.  Maybe I’m not your intended audience, but I can tell you one thing that makes absolutely no sense to me about this free gift:  Who is going to wear a tee-shirt that advertises the fact that they have a small wang?

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8 Responses to “let me find my Viagra totebag”

  1. Ginger Says:

    Fill in the blank:

    “I’m not Enzyte’s target audience, also because ______________________”

    hee!

  2. Nashville is Talking » I’d wear one, but Mr. Ivy would probably kill me. Says:

    […] Ron on Enzyte’s new free gift with purchase: And what was that free gift? Why, the one thing every proud Enzyte customer would want! A free Smilin’ Bob teeshirt! […]

  3. Ron Says:

    I figured you’re not Enzyte’s target audience because you look like you don’t have the right equipment, but I’ve been wrong before. This one time, in New Orleans… well, I can just stop there.

  4. Short and Fat Says:

    Wouldn’t it make more sense to give away t-shirts of Bob’s smiling wife?

  5. Ginger Says:

    lol…actually, that was a very lame attempt of mine to have you elaborate on the reasons YOU wouldn’t be Enzyte’s target audience…ifyaknowwhatImean. 😉

  6. Ron Says:

    S&F: You’d think so, but Smilin’ Bob’s wife just looks like she’s had one too many facelifts.

    Ginger: I’m not Enzyte’s target audience because I don’t have any disposable income?

  7. Ginger Says:

    ahahahahaha….you are, ahem, skirting this issue. hee!

  8. Ron Says:

    Technically I’m pantsing the issue! 😛

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