Who cares about the war or terrorism or the price of gas when we really need to be worrying about the increase in the price of beer?! Important issues here, people! My hobbies are at stake!
If this is the result of increased usage of ethanol, then by God we need to go back to good old-fashioned whale oil to power our cars, because I pay too damn much for a six-pack of Bass as it is. Sure that’d increase the price of whale, but I don’t eat whale so I don’t care. I do drink beer, and every penny counts when it comes to brewery-fresh deliciousness.
So help me, Al Gore, if this is because of your environmentalist crapola I’m going to run your ass over with an electric car. Don’t you lecture me from your private planes and your mansions, you bastard. Get between me and my lager and you’ll find that I’m a clean-burning, energy-efficient killing machine. There is no more inconvenient truth than death, my bearded nemesis.