ratatouille wine is the perfect way to get minnie to hike up that skirt

On Monday, July 25, the Walt Disney company moved to ban all depictions of smoking from their products released under that banner. They also stated that they would “discourage” the depiction of smoking from their adult-oriented Touchstone and Miramax products as well. Good for them, right? A little something to tell the kids not to smoke isn’t a bad thing.

Two days after their progressive anti-smoking announcement, Disney announced on July 27 that they have commissioned the release of a Ratatouille-themed wine to be sold at Costco stores for $13. Seriously. That’s right, kids; get your own bottle of vino based on a G-rated cartoon about a cute talking rat. But for the love of God, don’t let that drunken rat light up a cigarette!

This genius corporate stance from the always family-friendly Disney company makes perfect sense, considering how smoking is bad for you, but drinking is… also bad for you. Cruella DeVille (the only Disney character I remember smoking who wasn’t also on fire) was the bad guy, which sends the message that smoking is wrong, but Remy the French rat is an entirely different story. Way to be totally inconsistent, Disney.

If Joe Camel markets to kids while he’s out playing pool and banging lady camels (or whatever he did) what exactly does putting the star of a children’s movie on a bottle of booze do but market to kids?

Author’s Note: I have no problem with adults drinking. Especially if they’re cute women who tend to strip when they be crunk’d on rat-flavored wine. Bottoms up, ladies! Hope you’re not as riddled with disease as the cuddly little furball on the label of your bottle would be.

Now to celebrate another successful post with a bottle of “Mister Rogers’ Malt Liquor.”

(Shamelessly stolen by Den of Geek.  You can tell it was originally written for this blog because over at DoG I try not to say things like “banging lady camels” in front of the international community.)

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4 Responses to “ratatouille wine is the perfect way to get minnie to hike up that skirt”

  1. Jade Says:

    Of course, this is also the same Disney that seems to think people go to ESPN to watch badly-made sports docudramas and not get actual sports information. Me thinks the mouse is smoking something besides tobacco.

  2. Klinde Says:

    “Author’s Note: I have no problem with adults drinking. Especially if they’re cute women who tend to strip when they be crunk’d on rat-flavored wine. Bottoms up, ladies! Hope you’re not as riddled with disease as the cuddly little furball on the label of your bottle would be.”

    Bwahahahahahaha!!!!

  3. squirrelqueen Says:

    Suddenly I’m thirsty and the Mad Dog 20/20 bottle is dry. Woe is me.

  4. Ron Says:

    Jade: Are you suggesting that Disney has released Mulan opium pipes? If so, is that something you have to get at the Disney Store Beijing?

    Klinde: Glad you approve! I thought it was important to get my message out there for children everywhere.

    SQ: Mad Dog 20/20 got me through a lot of my college days, though I don’t drink it often. Now that I have a job, I want to feel classier, so I drink bottles of Boone’s Farm spiked with vodka.

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