The following is a joke my father told me today. I share it with all interested parties and make no claims as to its level of funny. Though personally, I thought it was hilarious
Dolly Parton and Queen Elizabeth both die and go up to heaven. They’re standing outside the pearly gates when St. Peter comes down. Dolly is very excited to see him, happy and bubbly, and the queen is just quiet and demure like she always is.
“Ladies,” he says, “We have a problem. We can only let one of you in, and we’re going to have to decide who. You both get to state your case and what you’d do to make Heaven a better place.”
“Well, I’ve got these big boobs,” Dolly says. “I figure I’ll walk around topless, and God can look at them and enjoy them. He created them, after all, I figure he’ll enjoy them.”
“Hmm, interesting,” St. Peter says. “Queen?”
The Queen doesn’t say anything. Noticing a bathroom off to the side, she wanders over, silent and demure, and gives the toilet a single flush. That done, she walks back over to St. Peter.
“Okay, Queen, you’re in.”
“Hey, wait a minute,” Dolly interjects. “Why don’t I get in? I’m going to walk around topless and all she did was flush the toilet!”
“Dolly,” St. Peter says, “A royal flush beats a pair, even in heaven.”