Mars: You see this?
Mars: … Doesn’t even sound like the thing is actually ready to be used, according to the notes at the bottom of the story.
Ron: “Unlike a stint in Abu Ghraib with Lynndie England, the ADS only provides a mild burning sensation on the skin, and not a burning sensation when you pee.”
They counted on the knee-jerk reaction there. “OMG WE HAVE A RAYGUN?!?!!!!111oneoneoneoneone..”
Ron: Dude, that’s an awesome development. Call me back when it becomes a death ray
Mars: LOL! I love you, man. You think just like I do.
Ron: I’d rather cook our enemies than waste precious bullets on them
Mars: Yep. Solves the African hunger crisis.
Okay. That was just wrong. Even for me.
Ron: I was going to suggest trouble-free pet food, but hey, meat is meat.
Mars: Well, they’re always bitching about starving kids in Africa…
Ron: “Here, Mombutu, have an Iranwich!” Or would be a Croque Mesopotamian?
All I’m saying is if they didn’t send Sally Struthers over there, those kids would have plenty of food.