Seth Rogen is not my illegitimate Canadian brother

The list of people who say I remind them of Seth Rogen, or vice versa, is growing rapidly.  

Look, gang.  I know we’re both beer-drinking fat guys with reddish brown hair and brown eyes.  I know we’re both funny and sarcastic to cover up our sweet souls.  I know we both curse way too much and have no qualms about launching into horrifyingly disgusting stories about ourselves and our lives for the sake of a laugh.  I know we both have the same kind of rounded face and permanent stubble.  I know we both have, on occasion, rocked the glasses.  I know we’re both about six feet tall.  I know we both dress like we’re borderline homeless.  I know his last name is Rogen and my last name is Hogan.  I know we’re both pop-culture garbage dumps who can wax in great detail about comic book characters, horror movies, and TV shows that went off the air before we were born.  I know we’re the same age. 

But other than that, I don’t see any resemblance whatsoever.  I mean, I have straight hair, people!  Come on!  We’re nothing alike!

Sincerely,

John Carter Cash Ron

Author’s Note:  Seriously, I get this all the time.  But for the love of God, he’s Canadian!