The secret lives of superheroes

It must be awesome to walk around, knowing you’re better than everyone else. You’ve got super strength, super speed, invisibility, psychic powers, even near indestructibility in some cases. You must fear nothing (except possible exposure of your secret identity and rogue super villains).

Well, let’s not get ahead of ourselves here. There are drawbacks to your powers, after all. Like Uncle Ben always said, “With great power comes great responsibility.” Except we’re not going to be talking about great responsibility, we’re going to talk about the day-to-day problems your average meta human encounters in your favorite comic book universe when trying to deal with us normal folks.

Like, for instance, let’s take the Green Lantern. The power ring he yields is the most powerful force in the DC universe. But until recently, his green power ring was useless against yellow objects. So the unlimited power of the cosmic forces of Oan are useless against Post-It notes, mustard, and most cheese. Hal Jordan, crushed to death by a brick of cheddar.

Superman, the Man of Steel, nigh on indestructible, right? Except when he goes down the stairs and takes the Metropolis underground to his job at the Daily Planet. In the dark, Clark Kent really is a mild-mannered weakling, just begging to be mugged.

Speaking of indestructible, Wolverine’s adamantium skeleton must be pretty awesome, right? Wrong. Try getting on an airplane or going to a concert when your bones set off security alerts. You can’t get good dental x-rays when your skull is coated in metal, either. That’s not even mentioning all the little kids sticking magnets to him.

There are hundreds of super heroes out there, and I’m going to take the piss out of as many as I can. Go read the rest of the hilarious list over at Den of Geek!


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One Response to “The secret lives of superheroes”

  1. mystarbucks Says:

    I loved that line from Superman by Uncle Ben. In fact, i’ve often quoted it to my kids except I have replaced the word power with the word knowledge. Because “knowledge is power.” That is from School House Rock!

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