Fat Bearded Dorks Everywhere Rejoice!

There’s a term in the movie industry called development hell. Basically, you’ve got your story, you might have a script or writers attached, you might have directors attached, and you might already be sinking millions of money into a project, but for some reason you just can’t get all your ducks in a row and get the project off the ground and filming. Maybe there’s an issue with the rights, maybe there’s an issue with casting, maybe you have funding troubles.

Whatever the reason, you can’t get your stuff together. This has been the story for the long-awaited adaptation of The Hobbit for the last 13 years. Read about the clouded but fascinating history here.

However, it seems things are starting to come together for our favorite fuzzy footed food dumpsters, as Peter Jackson’s producing again, Hellboy is in talks to direct, all the various special effects geniuses who did the Lord on the Rings trilogy are lined up, the actors are champing at the bit to reprise their roles, and $300 million for two Hobbit based movies is lined up.

This is great news for fat, bearded dorks (like myself) everywhere! They even replaced one formerly fat, bearded director (Peter Jackson) with an even fatter, even more bearded director (Mexican Santa Claus Guillermo Del Toro). When they need another fat, bearded guy to direct The Children of Hurin, I’ll be ready.

I’ve already started eating more starch and not shaving to get myself in the proper Tolkien director shape (round and flabby). Coming to a theater near you in 2012, and a buffet near you tonight!


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