I am now a Real Journalist

Attention UK readers and readers with access to UK-based magazines! Awhile back I went into blog silence while I was busy with something else (not that anyone noticed, but that’s beside the point). That something is finished, published, and available to the public in issue 1004 of Micro Mart, Britain’s #1 computing magazine and Big Sister of Den of Geek! Just look for the cover below and part with your money to feast upon my article about the history of Massive Multiplayer Online games.

Micro Mart Magazine iss 1004

I’m not sure I ever told anyone publicly that I was working on a legitimate article for a legitimate magazine, but now that I know that I A) didn’t suck and B) could actually finish something that I find relatively satisfying, I know I can publicize it without jinxing myself. So go out and buy a copy or ten, share them with your friends, and of course come over here and join the trolls as they flame me for my general incompetence.

I look forward to being told how much of a moron I am by strangers on the internet. After all, hating you keeps me warm at night. 🙂 As a newly minted member of the legitimate media, I can now join with my ink-stained brethren and remind you all that I am an expert in my field and an actual writer, and you are all mouth-breathing drool babies who live in your mother’s basement and live only to slander your betters (people like me, Buzz BissingerRon).

The next time you see me, I’ll be on Bob Costas’ HBO show calling Ryan Block a gin-soaked fucknozzle.

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16 Responses to “I am now a Real Journalist”

  1. newscoma Says:

    I’m so very happy for you.!!!!

  2. Ron Says:

    Like all print journalists, I struggle with blogging software. That’s why it took me like six tries to get the fucking image of the magazine cover to go up. All that work, and my article isn’t even mentioned on the front page.

    But yay! I’m very happy for me, too!

  3. chez beziat Says:

    Big congrats on whatever it is you were writing about. I’m only a gamer in the sense that I still play Madden 2000 on my original PlayStation. I’m such a caveman.

    And seriously, that’s awesome! I’ll go read your trolls now.

  4. Ron Says:

    It’s just one guy, sadly. He was very angry about what I said. Well, actually, he’s angry at the magazine for its history of ignoring his favorite game, so he lashes out at the only person who actually mentions EVE Online (me) in a positive light.

  5. Duncan Says:

    Kickass Ron! I’ve been waiting for this to come around, but I can’t find anywhere locally that carries the fuckin thing.

  6. Ron Says:

    I haven’t looked around here yet, but I’m getting a couple of copies in the mail and an more than willing to scan them and post them here when I get ownership of the article back in 3 months or whenever it is.

  7. Duncan Says:


  8. Jade Says:

    Yay for legitimate writing! Wish I could get my hands on a copy. Feel free to borrow my barbed-wire-covered baseball bat to bash any trolls who dare to troll at you. 😀

  9. Ron Says:

    I guess it’s not really fair to call him a troll. He’s just a bit EVE online fan who bristled at my otherwise accurate description of the game as a space trading/combat game. It’s more fun to think he hates me.

  10. Duncan Says:

    Hatred is ALWAYS more fun.

  11. squirrelqueen Says:

    Hey Ron, you don’t need strangers on the Internet to call you a moron. We people who know you could have done that if we just knew you needed that validation.
    Congratulations on getting published. I’m no gamer so I’ll take your word as gospel.
    And yes, I had wondered where you’d drifted off to in the Intervapors.

  12. Ron Says:

    It was this, jury duty, and general laziness. The Three Amigos of non-blogging! (Jury duty is Steve Martin).

    Thanks, when I have those days where I’m feeling just too damn good about myself, I can always turn to the Internet to remind me how inadequate I am in every possible way. It’s a good way to keep my naturally-inflated ego in check, yet it does nothing about the size of my massive head.

  13. Jade Says:

    “It’s a good way to keep my naturally-inflated ego in check, yet it does nothing about the size of my massive head.”

    Funny, I didn’t think that would be considered a problem. 😉

  14. Ron Says:

    Only when trying to buy a hat. It’s a shame, because I love hats. I’d love to bring back the fedora for men, but I don’t see it happening because my non-steroid skull is in the same league as Barry Bonds after an ass full of anabolics.

  15. the gooderest news of all « Subtle Bluntness Says:

    […] gooderest news of all My paper copies of the brilliant MicroMart issue 1004 arrived safely to my doorstep today, thanks in no small part to the US Mail. Now when people tell […]

  16. I learn these lessons so you don’t have to! « GingerSnaps Says:

    […] the end of the day, I thought, “Ron’s a genius, he’ll know what to do!” and he came up with some great suggestions, such as […]

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