“I think it is safe to say Ron is a moron.”

Okay Duncan, you read my thing about Lord of the Rings Online. Do you feel that my criticisms were so harsh that they merit me being branded a WoW fanboi? I mean, you’re the guy who got me the free pass, so you’re more than welcome to show up and tell me what an incompetent fucktard I am.

I love you, Internet. I love the never-ending flow of hate because I deigned to say a few bad things about an otherwise enjoyable, gorgeous-looking game. Sorry I think they’ve wasted a lot of potential, and I’m very sorry I tried to make a joke at the end of the piece so it wouldn’t be as dry as Treebeard’s cunt. It’ll never happen again.

Anthony: set up a new I hate LOTR site
me: Lord of the Rings Blows Online
Anthony: They’d probably lynch you, but it’d be worth it
me: they’d have to leave their parents’ basements to find me
Anthony: They’ll come and get you in warcraft. Virtual death
Anthony: you’ll never be able to set foot in middle earth again. the hobbits will have you
me: their tiny little hands clawing at me
Anthony: those little hobbitsy feet kicking you in the knackers
me: and they have small feet, so they could probably kick each individual ball
Anthony: so true
me: I should steal this and put it up in my blog post. Do you mind?
Anthony: go for it
those evil hobbitysy ball kickers must have read your Steven Seagal post
Anthony: Sorry to laugh at your pain, but I keep imagining a gang of hobbits kicking your individual testicles with their tiny, hairy feet, and it just cracks me up
me: Hahahaha, me too! and it’s still my balls being kicked, so you think I’d be more upset.

Author’s Note: I will NEVER stop ripping on games that squander an IP that I love greatly. There’s absolutely no excuse for LotRO, a year into its lifespan, to not totally blow World of Warcraft out of the water. The fact that I wasn’t so moved to love the game after my trial was up that I quit WoW right then and there for the world I grew up reading about is unforgivable and a complete failure on Turbine’s part.

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8 Responses to ““I think it is safe to say Ron is a moron.””

  1. Anthony Says:

    They’re acting like you just shot Peter Jackson.

  2. Ron Says:

    Obviously they’ve got my notes for my next article: Peter Jackson Was Better When He Was Fat.

  3. Jade Says:

    Silly you, you should know by now that some devotees of any particular game/hobby/interest, etc. will take any kind of comments/reviews that are not equally as devoted to said game/hobby/interest as being akin to killing their firstborn child and will react accordingly. It doesn’t matter how you word it or whether or not you’re correct in your criticisms, they cannot accept it because they equate their devotion with their personal self-image. In their minds, by pointing out the flaws in the game, you imply that there is something wrong with them for enjoying it.

    If you think you got it bad, just imagine the hate Yahtzee got when he dissed Smash Bros. Brawl. 😉

  4. Duncan Says:

    I replied to them Ron. Just out of the kindness of my heart.

  5. Ron Says:

    Duncan: Thanks, man. Nice to know I wasn’t way off base.

    Jade: There’s nothing wrong for them to enjoy the game, but now I feel like I have to write out my many, many complaints about World of Warcraft in order to affirm my status as a non-fanboi.

  6. Sarah Dobbs Says:

    The Giles Wareing Haters’ Club, by Tim Dowling. Seriously.

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