Ron Gets Smart

I know I promised to do a movie review a week here at the ol’ homestead, but I’ve just been too busy doing movie reviews where people will read them. I know you’re terribly disappointed, all 9 of you who read my blog faithfully. Well, it’d better be faithfully, because if you’re cheating on me and reading other blogs on the side then I’ll cry and cry my little eyes out you heartbreakers! How could you do this to me?! How could you do this to our blog family?! WHY?!?!?!

Ahem, sorry. Too much “Cheating Spouses Exposed!” on Maury. Got a little carried away with the dramatics.

I know I said I’d do a movie review a week here at the blog, but I’ve just been too busy doing high quality first-run movie reviews over at Den of Geek where an adoring audience of hundreds of people see my post titles and continue on about their day without stopping to read or comment, which is a refreshing change of pace from the usual troll I attract. Must be my pants made out of troll bait or my billy-goats Gruff shoes.

On that note, would you believe that I saw and loved the new Get Smart movie this weekend? No? Well, how about that Get Smart was the #1 movie at the box office this weekend? Well, what if I told you that one day I will eventually get back on my movie reviewing horse (I named him Horse With No Name) and ride out to Bad Horror Hill and shoot down the Bert I. Gordon gang, then review whatever awful movies I come across? Is that better?

I promise, one day soon I’ll start reviewing more of the crap I smear on my eyeballs and force into my brain (thanks, TV!). Then after you read it and gouge out your eyes in horror at what I put myself through, you’ll have no one to blame but yourselves for making me actually follow through on my dumb promise. Well, yourself and the Sci-Fi Channel, I guess. I swear, NBC Universal owns more bad movies than Lloyd Kaufman and Roger Corman put together, and I just.

Can’t.

Stop.

Watching.

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5 Responses to “Ron Gets Smart”

  1. CuriousC Says:

    Wow – you’ve been busy while I’ve been away. GOOD for you. I’m looking forward to seeing Get Smart. Now that I’ve read this, I might have to put off IronMan till another time…

  2. Ron Says:

    Oh no, don’t wait to see Iron Man. It’s the best movie of the summer so far, and I don’t see anything coming that’ll surpass it, not even the new Batman flick. Iron Man is amazing!

  3. squirrelqueen Says:

    Every time I check the channel grid and flip past the upcoming movies on Sci-Fi I’m always astounded that they’ve got something new and obviously terrible to offer. Where on earth are they finding the funding for this dreck? Who’s looking for a tax write off? The volume of horrible flicks they offer is incredible.

  4. Ron Says:

    Sci-Fi typically spends about $1-2 million dollars to make an independent picture, and they buy a ton of movies from other independent producers and film organizations. I know that they’ve made, as of now, at least 30 films, and apparently the films to good ratings and actually sell some on DVD. They have a ton of time to fill, and it’s cheaper to just make a movie than it is to buy the rights to a big movie or TV series.

  5. Wall-E Dangerously « Subtle Bluntness Says:

    […] I think maybe I should retire from box office predictions. Yes, I was right last week when I said that Wall-E would be the box office champion, but I must have grossly underestimated […]

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