Archive for the ‘Holidazed’ Category

Feel Good Friday: The 13th

June 13, 2008

Joining up with Ginger, Coma, SQ, and the rest of the tubes for a feel-good Friday. Yes, I’m a hopeless trend-follower.

Bonus below the cut: the better Jason compilation video, with Ron’s Drive-In Totals.


Happy Blogaversary To The Best Blogger Ever

June 1, 2008

Well, as of yesterday, this old blog (as opposed to my TV show in development, This Ol’ Blog) has been around for an entire year. That’s right, 365 days of shamelessly self-promoting articles at Den of Geek about Jackie Chan, making fun of Steven Seagal, and of course, tasteless jokes about dead celebrities.

And to think, when I first started this blog I promised I wouldn’t indulge in a lot of shameless self-promotion. Yet here I am, whoring my own links for fun and profit and theoretical dollars. If I wasn’t so awesome, my hypocritical stand would bother me. Fortunately, like most famous people, it’s do as I say, not as I do.

How I stuck with this shit this long I’ll never know.

Author’s Note: Here is Google’s top link for blogaversary. Is anyone really surprised? Newscoma > Internet


May 11, 2008

Happy MILF Day to all you mothers (and mother-fuckers) out there. Special thanks to American Pie for introducing the world to the term MILF, and for launching an entire genre of porn based around the MILF concept. Cheers!

Another Irish Music Video

March 17, 2008

Well, not real Irish, but Irish enough due to lead singer Dave King. This band, ladies and gents, is my favorite band ever, and the best live band I’ve ever seen. They’re Flogging Molly, and I’ve been their biggest supporter since their first album came out. YouTube is full of great songs of theirs, and I’m full of Samuel Adams Cream Stout, so another video post awaits.

I’ve seen them three times. Once at the Warped Tour in Atlanta, once in Warped Tour Jr. here in Louisville, and once again at Jillians here in Louisville where the crowd drank the place out of beer. Once again, the crowd drank a BAR dry. Not just any bar, a huge bar. I’m not ashamed to say that, like Shake’n’Bake, I totally helped. That’s the night I met the guitar player and the drummer, and got pictures with them.

At the Atlanta Warped Tour, the accordion player rode right past me on a bike, pulling a little red wagon full of cases (cases) of Guinness. I’ve never wanted to bike-jack somebody so much in my life. If you’ve ever been to Atlanta in the middle of summer, it’s like Hell but with more humidity. It was probably over 100 degrees, and I’m crammed in with a few thousand people in a gravel parking lot, drinking water from a gallon jug I got at Kroger on the way to the venue. It’s probably a good thing they didn’t sell booze at the event, otherwise I would’ve probably died from dehydration.

At the Louisville Warped Tour Jr. stop, I met Dave King’s teenage son at the merchandise booth. He was just hanging out in the shade, and I recognised him instantly thanks to his accent and red hair. The first question I asked him was, “Do people come up to you and tell you your dad is awesome all the time?” He said yes, so I said, “Add me to the list.” So I shook his hand and spent a good 5-10 minutes bullshitting with him. Some friends of mine played the event, so I had a nifty backstage pass and since I was the only one close to sober, I did all the beer runs. Or at least one serious, expensive beer run.

Still, good times. I hope they come back to town again soon.

Happy St. Patrick’s Day, Bitch!

March 17, 2008

I still like Mike McColgan better than Al Barr, but I think Dirty Glass is one of the best Dropkick Murphys songs they’ve ever done, and I’m pleasantly surprised at how cute Stephanie Dougherty is. Still, I’ve always wondered if the really rough, gravely parts of the song (“you get him high and you left him low!” and the like) were done by Jimmy Kimmell announcer and Mighty Mighty Bosstones frontman Dicky Barrett, and I still wonder that because they never showed him good enough during the performance. Ah well.

Anyway, Happy St. Patrick’s Day, gang. Obviously I’m Irish, since ther is never a picture of me where I’m not red-faced, puffy, and slightly drunk, but St. Patty’s Day has never been a big deal to me. I don’t go out for it, at least. I drink at home, so I don’t have to find a designated driver and so I don’t have a gigantic bar tab. Still, if you do go out, be careful and be safe!


Danny Domino’s Un-Valentine’s Day

February 14, 2008

This isn’t exactly my feeling towards Valentine’s Day, but it is pretty damn funny. I think I’m gonna make myself a singletini tonight, just to see how awful that combination of whiskey, gin, vodka, and lime juice actually is. Happy V-Day to you all, and to all a good night.

In Honor of Dr. MLK – Slaughter!

January 21, 2008

There are very few people that, if I ran into them on the street, I’d be outright afraid of them should I say anything to them. One of these few men is NFL legend, actor, activist, and generally bad dude Jim Brown. I’m not talking about Jim Brown from his heyday (who wouldn’t be afraid of the meanest running back in NFL history, who’d rather run through a guy than run around a guy?), I’m talking about Jim Brown now, at 71 years of age.

In addition to being the best player in NFL history, and not a pussy like Franco Harris, Jim Brown also has quite a good list of acting credits to his name. From his first role in the western Rio Conchos to his breakout role in The Dirty Dozen, to his amazingly good performance in the otherwise bloated penis-fest Any Given Sunday, Jim Brown has made his mark on cinema.

I think my favorite movie of his, if only for the Black Rambo factor and some hilariously odd situations, is the 1972 blaxploitation classic, Slaughter! Read the review to see why I can’t say Slaughter! without adding an exclamation point. It’s a great movie, Jim Brown is incredibly charismatic and entertaining, and I consider it one of the better films to come out of that era, despite following the template so closely.

More importantly than that, Jim Brown gives back to his community in a way that would undoubtedly make Dr. King proud. Through his Amer-I-Can foundation, he works with troubled youths at risk for falling in with gangs in both LA and Cleveland, which you don’t see Wesley Snipes doing. He’s also been a tireless and outspoken advocate for civil rights, the rights of former NFL players, and bettering society in general.

You may not agree with Jim Brown all the time, but you can respect a man who puts his beliefs out there, doesn’t pull punches, and tells it like he sees it. He’s never shied away from controversy, despite the fact that it’s probably cost him money over the long run. You got to give credit to a guy who, literally, puts his money where his mouth is.

In Honor of Dr. MLK – Shaft

January 20, 2008

Shaft is, without a doubt, one of the best movies made in the 70s. Nothing so perfectly captured a movement, a filmmaking style, a music style, and clothing style in one fell swoop like this classic Gordon Parks slice of cinema. Check out my review here, if you wish to learn yourself about Shaft and his views on racial and ethnic harmony.

That’s one of the things I admire most about Shaft, both the movie and the character. Unlike other blaxploitation movies (I’m looking at you, Dolemite), not all white people in Shaft are evil. Hell, Shaft’s friends with every sort of group, and enemies with every other sort of group. You could hang out with Shaft, no matter if you’re white, gay, black, or even a woman. But you better not cross him, ’cause Shaft don’t take no shit off of anybody. How often do you get a strong hero that is so tolerant, especially in the 70’s? Shaft even tolerates hippies, and the History Channel told me black people hated hippies!

Anyway, long story short, Shaft is an excellent movie, and we should all strive to be and dress more like him. So next time some gangster is hassling you, throw his sorry ass out the window.

On a more serious note, Richard Roundtree survived breast cancer in 1993, and has been a tireless advocate for cancer screenings ever since. Make sure you screen yourself (and women on the bus or passed out at the bar) for breast cancer. It’s one of the most common forms of cancer for women, and the deadliest cancers in men after prostate cancer. So seriously, feel a boob and save a life.

Here’s a bonus clip for Newscoma:

In Honor of Dr. MLK – Blacula

January 20, 2008

So, I was thinking of a way in which I could pay homage to the good Doctor, Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., whose holiday gives us a day off of work in the middle of January. I mean, he did that for me, so the least I could do is return the favor for him. I figured what better way to pay tribute to the man than to pay tribute to the film industry that carried on his legacy from 1971-1984, the blaxploitation film industry!

Over at the old Living Corpse (now Film Sewer), every February was Blaxploitation History Month. I loved it, because not only did it allow me to pay homage to some of my favorite 70’s sleaze movies, it also kept us topical and allowed us to kill a month with a great, inventive theme while digging deep into the old American International Pictures film archives. Plus, topless Pam Grier.

So, over the next couple of days, I’ll be reposting some of my old reviews, some trailers, and all the assorted things that I love about blaxploitation cinema. Let’s start with my favorite blaxploitation horror movie so far (I’ve yet to see Abby), the epic 1972 classic, Blacula. The review is here, the trailer is below.

What about you guys? Got any favorite blaxploitation movies I should check out for next month?

Happy Nude Year (now go click some links)

December 31, 2007

So, my dear cousin poisonous plant is giving away a Shrek 3 DVD over at Home Ec 101, so go here and leave them a link or a comment telling how you’d keep your kids busy for the 10 minutes necessary to go to have that early morning bowel movement in relative peace.

As for me, I’d sit my kids in front of the TV as often as possible until they learn to read, then hopefully I’d sit them in front of the TV with a book positioned somewhere nearby so that when they get bored of Dead & Buried (though how could you, given how awesome the DVD is, so click on that link and read my review of Jack Albertson’s last role), they’ll be forced to read some high fantasy novel like Scions of Shannara or Magic Kingdom for Sale–SOLD!

For those of you who won’t see this until later, enjoy some death metal and a fireworks display from our friends at World of Warcraft (well, WoW did the fireworks, the video maker added the heavy metal).