Feel Good Friday – Hanging Out With You Tonight

Sometimes it feels like the only reason the world kicks you in the balls is so that, while you’re down on the ground cradling your fractured children, it can rear back and plant a boot right in your teeth. It’s been a rotten rat-fucking week for your boy. I’m not feeling well, I’ve gotten a ton of bad news lately, I’m cranky and irritable and generally pissed off all the time, but you know what?

One of my favorite bands ever, The Queers, is gonna be here tomorrow. So as Joe Queer and company would say, “Fuck this world, I’m hanging out with you tonight.”

I called in sick to work today and stayed in bed ’til noon
And now I just don’t care what’s going on outside this room
Things aren’t getting better
My future’s not too bright
Fuck the world I’m hanging out with you tonight

[insert whoas here]

Me and you will walk around so pointlessly
Smashing things, jacked up on way too much caffeine
I’m really going nowhere
I hate this shitty life
Fuck the world I’m hanging out with you tonight

[more whoas]

Fuck the world I’m hanging out with you tonight

[repeat until the end]

I’ve seen them once before already, which was awesome. They didn’t have Wimpy or Danny Vapid with them, unfortunately. They didt have former Teen Idol and Nashvillian Phillip Hill, though (I think; I won’t bet on it). I have no idea who is in their current lineup, but so long as Joe Queer is there it doesn’t really matter that much.

Feel Good Friday: Wild Irish Rose

This is kind of a melancholy FGF, because this is my favorite local band, I’ve seen them like 20 times, and their last show is September 13th. It’s sad when things like this happen, but at least I’ll know to get down to Headliners and catch their last performance, no matter what. (They played on my birthday, but I didn’t go. D’oh!) It’s only $10, so I have no excuses despite my mild distaste for the venue of performance’s lack of parking.

Yes, I am in the video. Repeatedly. Mostly it’s my back, though, because I’m a moron. Still, that’s me in the BrooklynHookers.com teeshirt (black, lettering in a circle, fat guy… you can’t miss me). This video was one drummer and two or three rhythm guitarists in the past, so probably about 2003 or 2004. Just my best guess.

Boffo Box Office

Here’s this week’s box office report, complete with bragging about how I was right about Kung Fu Panda winning and how massive Sex and the City’s second week drop was compared to, uh, every other movie.

Last week I got a chance to see Iron Man and Indy IV, and I was very impressed by Iron Man. Great movie, highly recommended. Indy was fun, but I should’ve listened to Duncan and left when they got to the chamber. Next time I’ll know better and listen to him, because he knows best.

I saw Kung Fu Panda tonight (gotta contribute to the box office gross, after all). My thoughts will be up over at Den of Geek tomorrow, and I’ll whore out my article here once it’s up. I haven’t forgotten about my movie reviews for the ol’ blog, I’ll do it soon. I promise.

snowmosexuality

Well, I stayed home from Day Job Friday, because I felt like a plate of fried turds ‘n’ spray-cheese. Another good reason was the upcoming white apocalypse we were to suffer at the hands of a premenstrual Mother Nature. That’s right, she was playing ragtime music and decided to give us more than the cold shoulder up here in the river city. Snow all day Friday, all last night, and basically more snow all of today. Huzzah.

The grand total as of now looks to be somewhere between 6-12 inches across the city, with my personal neck of the woods recieving about 8 inches of fluffy, wet snow. It’s nice that it’s so easy to shovel, because tomorrow I’m going to have to dig my car out and hope I can get out of the subdivision and onto the main roads for work Monday. Fortunately, it’ll all be gone this week as we’ll be back up into the usual 50-something weather we’re supposed to be having this time of year.

Check out some pictures.

That is my mother sweeping snow off my car. I would’ve helped, but they woke me up to make me take pictures of the snow, so I did my part, then went back to sleep to leave my mom to do the work. I’m sorry, but don’t drag me out of bed to take pictures, then expect me to be in the mood to help shovel. That is not how I roll.

That’s a shot of our wintery backyard, included only so I can feel like I have some skills of an artist and because it shows just how deep the snow is. I’d show you my drawing of Trogdor the Burninator, but I’ll be damned if I can’t get the hang of the consummate V. I know, I suck.

Anyway, it’s cold, and I’m kind of under the weather, so this is all you’re going to get. At least until tomorrow when I go outside to finish digging out. Then, you might get more pictures, and a case of the flu. Aren’t you so lucky?!

Psychbilly Freakout, Nashville Style

So, you want to know what I’ll be doing tomorrow about this time? Well, that’s a great question, and let me put it to you this way:

Reverend Horton Heat, Hank Williams III, and Nashville Pussy at Nashville’s beautiful performance venue, The Cannery Ballroom. I will be there with bells on, and if you’re one of Nashville’s illustrious blogging community and you’re going to be there, say hi. I accept free drinks, hearty handjobs handshakes, cash prizes, and of course bits of string.

First person to spot me and say hi gets a free drink. I’ll be the guy in jeans and the shirt below (it’s actually red); not that one, the one with the goatee standing awkwardly off by himself, praying for a familiar face to follow around all night.

Please send pictures (tasteful nudity only).

Author’s note: The Cannery may not, in fact, be beautiful. For all I know it’s a shithole and I’ll get stabbed on my way back to my car after the show. Your mileage may vary.

Misfits in Inaction

Tonight the Misfits are playing at Expo 5 (supported by my favorite local punk band, the Dead City Rejects), and, strangely, I don’t know if I’m going to go. No, it’s not the real Danzig/Jerry Only/Doyle Wolfgang Von Frankenstein/ROBO Misfits; it’s more like the Jerry Only Traveling Punk Rock All Stars featuring Dez Cadena of Black Flag.

It’s weird, normally I’d be all over this show, but these days all I see is the big hassle to buy tickets at the door, stand in line, fight for a good spot, and pay through the nose for beer. I know what they’re going to play, I’ve seen them like four or five times now, and… I’m just not enthusiastic about it. Maybe I’ve seen them too much, or maybe I’m secretly mad they didn’t bring Balzac with them yet again. Maybe the excitement of seeing Jerry singing the Misfits songs again has worn off because it’s not Danzig (or even Graves, who is actually pretty awesome in person).

I think the problem is it’s a nostalgia act at this point. Expo 5 is a flea market, basically. They’ve got no new album out or anything (not even another covers album). I know exactly what they’ll play (not “Where Eagles Dare”), and if I really want to see them, I can drive a couple hours to Covington and see them play there if I want to, or wait another 6 months or a year and see them when they swing back through again. I think the five years of mostly anniversary tours have dampened my enthusiasm.

Or maybe I’m just getting a wicked case of adultitis. I’m sure it doesn’t help that I’ve got three jobs, am facing a month’s worth of overtime and Saturdays, and have had a headache for three days now.

Fuck it, I’m staying home.

Stuck in the fast lane…

…surely make you lose your mind (if you hate driving on the expressway as much as I do).

It doesn’t matter what time of day or night I drive through NashVegas, there’s always a crowd. Every time I drive through Nashville, I run into traffic. It never, ever fails. I’ve never breezed through Nashville on my way to Memphis or Atlanta or LaVergne.

If I have to go to the bathroom or if I’m hungry, I’ll always stop BEFORE Nashville, because I know I ALWAYS get stuck in traffic. It never fails. Midnight? Road repaving. 4:00 PM? A truck falls off the I-440 overpass and blocks two lanes of traffic. A truck full of frozen food, no less.

Needless to say, I was stuck in traffic in Nashville for at least half an hour, since I managed to roll out of town right about the time the truck was crash-landing in the grass. I wish I had my camera with me, because it was quite a sight. Hundreds of cardboard boxes all over the place, the sheet metal trailer absolutely shredded, the cab crumpled up.

It was like something out of an action movie. I’ve seen truck wrecks before, but never anything quite this impressive. Michael Bay would’ve been proud of the carnage. Two whole lanes were blocked off.

the flying sauced

You know, you Tennessee people are all right. The Flying Saucer is my new best friend. Delicious beer floats, great sandwiches, and more beer than even I could possibly comprehend. Mmm… beer.

Don’t drink and drive, kids. You might spill your drink.

Oh yeah, for those of you with pictures from the weekend, hook a brother up. Leave links in the comments, or hit me up via email.

Beer and Loathing in Lexington, KY

Well, last night I rolled 1.5 hours down the interstate to the hallowed confines of Lexington, Kentucky.  Why would someone voluntarily go on the road after working all day, you might ask?  Well, it was finally time for a once-in-a-blue-moon adventure.

Alex, Duncan, and I have known one another for years.  Alex and Duncan more-so than me; I’m the new kid since they’ve only known me for like 6 years.  We met through the DWO.59, an e-wrestling fed run by a mutual friend Scribe (who now runs New Alberta Pro Wrestling, so if you’re into competitive writing and wrestling, go join it).  Duncan recruited me to join his personal NWC federation, TSW, and Alex and Jade and I formed a stable of DWO wrestlers there, with a few other additions along the way.

Anyway, that’s totally not the point.

Alex had moved to a little town here in Kentucky to be with his girlfriend.  Of course, things didn’t work out, she becomes a raving psychobitch, and long story short, he had no money in his pocket and no place to stay after Wednesday night.  So, since we’ve all been wanting to hang out but could never quite make it happen, it was decided that Alex would spend the night with Duncan, I’d come up from The Ville, and we’d grill out, drink beer, and generally talk shit and hang out and bond over our love of weapons, alcohol, wrestling, and nerdy RPG/Internet meme stuff.  Duncan had some friends over, most of whom I’d met before, and we all hung out and ate grilled meats before the non-hackers and women got left behind and the Four Horsemen (including the illustrious Schaef) were off to the bar.

Long story short, I get home this morning at 6 AM, get to sleep by 7, and wake up today at 4:00 in the afternoon with significantly less money in my pocket than I had yesterday.  Alex should be on his way back to Florida now (Duncan and I gave him a few hundred bucks so he could both drive and eat, since he was literally broke) , if he’s not too hung-over.  I kind of wish I had spent the night there and helped Alex work over that $80 in expensive beer he had, but I’m the only one in the house, so I had to get back to take care of the cat and to keep our sketchy new neighbors at bay.