THIS BLOG HAS A NEW HOME

At least until I break it, this blog can be found at www.subtlebluntness.com.

Go there directly; this stuff is no longer relevant to your interests. Thank you for your continued participation in the blogodecahedron.

I Couldn’t Wait For Feel Good Friday

I can’t get this song out of my head, so in an effort to save myself, I’m going to spread it to others. Misery loves company, and I’m on a major rocka/psychobilly kick lately. My undying love of all things cheesy and horror-themed spills way over into my musical tastes, too.

The HorrorPops are touring the States come October, and that means I’ll be driving to either Chicago or Atlanta to see them. And I’ll probably buy this shirt, too.

Mirrors (2008) Review and a note for Kiefer Sutherland

Dear Kiefer,

I just saw Mirrors this week. Here’s my review, if you’re interested. I’ll give you some time to have your personal assistant read it to you.

Okay, are you done? Good, good. Let’s continue.

Listen, Kief… can I call you Kief? Too bad. Anyway, Kief, you’re on a hit TV show where you play the indestructible secret agent Jack Bauer. You run around and shoot all the terrorists, save America, and never once shower or go to the bathroom in the course of 24 hours. It’s a big hit, everyone loves it, everyone loves you, and life has to be pretty sweet when you’re not drunkenly assaulting Christmas trees.

There’s a problem, though. The show 24 is on hiatus until 2009. Most actors who play a well-known TV character end up getting typecast, because everyone looks at you and they don’t see David from the Lost Boys, they see the guy who has been killing terrorists on TV for years. Most actors, when given a break from their series, immediately go out and try to make a movie that will remind everyone that the face on TV is that of an actor who can play any sort of role.

But not you, Kief. You’re different enough, and drunk enough, to go out during your break from playing a gun-toting, mystery-solving, terrorist-chasing badass to… play a movie where you play a gun-toting, mystery-solving, ghost-chasing badass. You used your break from 24 to make a crossover movie between The X-Files and 24. Congratulations, you fucking genius.

I look forward to seeing you on Sci-Fi Channel Original Pictures chasing horribly-done CGI gorillas 5 years after 24 comes to a close.

Cheers,

Ron

For The 27th Year In A Row, Happy Birthday To Me

4lbs. 4ozs., still a week from my expected due date at nearly 2 months old.

Twenty-seven years ago, at 4:34 AM, a baby was born in Kosair Hospital in Louisville, Kentucky. The little fella was 8 weeks premature and weighed in at a hearty 2lbs. 13ozs. of solid, uh… scrawny. Anyway, I’ve told that story before, so I won’t bore you all with it again. The fact that I’ve lived this long defies medical science and the laws of both nature and man.

Considering I was on a feeding tube for the first two months of life and spent God knows how long in NICU, I’ve turned out to be pretty healthy. This calls for a song!

The Master will be pleased

Fear Itself 1.04 – The Forbidden Review Too Hot For DoG!

Here’s the official Fear Itself review for Den of Geek. Well, actually, it’s an explanation of why there is no review of this week’s Fear Itself at DoG, not a review itself. My original review, which you’ll find below, was a bit too… virulent, I suppose, for publication. I don’t blame them for not really itching to put it out there, as not only is it a little too controversial for what they’re trying to accomplish, it’s also completely disorganized.

That said, controversial and disorganized sounds like a blog entry anyway, so I figure I’d throw my 15 readers a treat. Instead of promotion something I wrote for Den of Geek here, I’ll give you something I wrote for Den of Geek that they thought best not to use. I don’t blame them; they have enough trolls over there without me adding to it by bringing up pedophilia and child abuse. I had my doubts as I was writing it as to whether or not it would end up publishable, and I figure they made the right call.

Disclaimer: It goes without saying that the views expressed below are my own (and those of the state of California). They don’t reflect back on anywhere I write at, nor do they reflect the views of any organization, past, present, or future, that may employ me and blah blah blah, covering my ass. Furthermore, nobody do anything fucking stupid and blame me for it. Further furthermore, don’t fuck little kids and tape it.