Like those few folks that watched it, I got burned by Masters of Horror. Badly, I might add, as I tried to defend the show after it was past the point of all reasonable defense and just ended up sounding like a moron. “Hey!” I’d pout. “Dance of the Dead was still pretty good if you compare it to Homecoming! Dreams of the Witch House had some nice tits in it, too!” Eventually, as the crap continued to flow, Dario Argento got censored on pay TV, and Takeshi Miike was banned by fucking Showtime, I gave up.
When the second season started up, I tried to watch The Damned Thing (because I like Tobe Hooper and Boondock Saint Sean Patrick Flannery and thought it might be an improvement), but after that awful mess I simply gave up on the whole concept. Ditto Masters of Science Fiction, as if they couldn’t get Paul Verheoeven or Ridley Scott or James Cameron or Dan O’Bannon then it was hardly Masters of Anything, no matter how many Harlan Ellison stories you buy up.
Despite this, when NBC crowed about launching a new horror anthology, I was there. Even once I found out it was just basically a third series of Masters of Horror, just with less Masters and less Horror. At least now there’s the excuse of network standards and practices if the episodes turn out sub par. Fortunately, last night’s episode was actually pretty good for a spam in a cabin vampire tale. If nothing else, it entertained me unlike a whole lot of the Masters of Horror episodes, and it featured some very blonde Eastern European girls, which I can only assume has to be the result of generations of inbreeding, as every Soviette I’ve ever known has been brunette.
All that talk about how Masters of Horror was a horror-able disappointment has depressed me. Think when I get home I’ll cheer myself up by watching Snatch.