THIS BLOG HAS A NEW HOME

At least until I break it, this blog can be found at www.subtlebluntness.com.

Go there directly; this stuff is no longer relevant to your interests. Thank you for your continued participation in the blogodecahedron.

Feel Good Friday – Hanging Out With You Tonight

Sometimes it feels like the only reason the world kicks you in the balls is so that, while you’re down on the ground cradling your fractured children, it can rear back and plant a boot right in your teeth. It’s been a rotten rat-fucking week for your boy. I’m not feeling well, I’ve gotten a ton of bad news lately, I’m cranky and irritable and generally pissed off all the time, but you know what?

One of my favorite bands ever, The Queers, is gonna be here tomorrow. So as Joe Queer and company would say, “Fuck this world, I’m hanging out with you tonight.”

I called in sick to work today and stayed in bed ’til noon
And now I just don’t care what’s going on outside this room
Things aren’t getting better
My future’s not too bright
Fuck the world I’m hanging out with you tonight

[insert whoas here]

Me and you will walk around so pointlessly
Smashing things, jacked up on way too much caffeine
I’m really going nowhere
I hate this shitty life
Fuck the world I’m hanging out with you tonight

[more whoas]

Fuck the world I’m hanging out with you tonight

[repeat until the end]

I’ve seen them once before already, which was awesome. They didn’t have Wimpy or Danny Vapid with them, unfortunately. They didt have former Teen Idol and Nashvillian Phillip Hill, though (I think; I won’t bet on it). I have no idea who is in their current lineup, but so long as Joe Queer is there it doesn’t really matter that much.

New Domain Name, Change Your Bookmarks

For those of you not in the know, the hip thing among the kids these days is to squeeze a little money out of your blogs, no matter how personal and unvisited they might be. Since I’ll be taking over the web hosting fees for PopFi soonishly, I went ahead and registered the domain subtlebluntness.com for myself. If you wouldn’t mind turning your many bookmarks in that direction, I would be forever in your debt.

So, Ron, when will you pollute your blog with official advertisements, and not just shameless self-whoring posts?

I don’t know, Strangely Abusive Internal Monologue. Maybe never, given how well my whole ‘port over old movie reviews from Living Corpse and add more to them’ plan went. Maybe as soon as this weekend. You can never tell with me, I just like to make sure everyone is warned well ahead of time, just in case.

The BastardCast Is Here

Hey gang. For those of you that have iPods or other MP3 playing devices, let’s try something different tonight. Instead of stealing music like you usually do, thereby depriving Jay Z of his much-needed fifth Bentley, why don’t you do something good with your life and listen to an hour of sports talk featuring yours truly (that’s me; no, not that guy, the other one).

Head on over here and find out all the details. Subscribe to us on iTunes, download us to your MP3 player, or acid etch us onto a flat, round piece of vinyl for your listening pleasure. I promise you you’ll enjoy yourself, or your money back!

Author’s note: Money back guarantee void in the continental United States or where prohibited by law. Plus it’s free, so you don’t get money back either way. Don’t think you can cheat me, you bastards.

Shia LaBeouf is the biggest star in the world? What?!

There’s something I don’t really get. Shia LaBeouf is somehow the biggest star on the planet, and I have absolutely no idea how or why he’s gotten this way. His lifetime gross is nearly $975 million in the United States alone. He made $316 million and counting off of Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, and in 2007 he grossed over $485 million between turns in Disturbia, Surf’s Up, and Transformers. His debut film, Holes, made $67 million in 2003. His new movie, Eagle Eye, has taken number one this weekend with an impressive $29.2 million box office debut.

I have no idea what in the hell Shia the Beef’s appeal is, but apparently he’s got it. Either that or he’s the biggest genius at picking scripts Hollywood has ever seen, because he’s made more money at the box office over the last two years than anyone except Christian Bale (and all his box office points have come from one mighty movie which finally fell out of the top 10 this week).

Read more about my anti-obsession with Shia The Beef, the revenge of Kirk Cameron (!!), the open mocking of Dane Cook fans, and all the weekend’s box office business at Den of Geek‘s Weekly Box Office Report. I’m especially insulting this week, so it’s something you really don’t want to miss. Plus, I describe Michael Cera as a ‘teen romcom puppy’. How can you go wrong?

The Debut of Little Britain USA

Little Britain USA, based on the series Little Britain but set in America and with some new characters, made its debut last night. It was on HBO, thankfully, which means the show could push buttons as hard as they wanted, and carry out jokes to extremes. How did it go?

Here’s what I thought in long form, but in short form I can tell you that the show was crude, very funny, very offensive, and a bit shaky. It’s tough to introduce established characters like Daffyd and Carol Beer to a new audience (and the show’s use of a laugh track really sticks out on HBO), but I’m hoping it sticks around for more than its initial six-episode order.

Feel Good Friday: TV Party

I love this song, and I wish Black Flag would reunite their 5-man lineup and come to my town. I know they’re all old and don’t get along now, but it’s not like I’d be giving them a choice. It’s my fantasy, after all, so I’ll make them do whatever I want.

The Venture Brothers: By Geeks, For Geeks

The best way I could describe The Venture Brothers for the newest Cultelevision article was that it was a show by geeks, for geeks. I mean, the show crams in more references to comic books, music, sci-fi, television, 80’s culture, and pop culture than I could possibly list in 10,000 words. Instead of even trying, I’ll just post a video detailing Hank Venture’s obsession with Batman.

This is why I love that show. It’s insane in the best way possible. I AM the Bat!

Burn After Reading And The Coen Brothers Abide, Man

For those of you who’ve been reading back a few months, you’ll remember my summer movie spree where I’d throw up a couple of paragraphs, shoe-horn in a link to my latest Den of Geek review (like this one for Burn After Reading), and call it a night. Mostly because I was so busy watching and reviewing everything that was coming out, I didn’t have much time for anything else.

I have a bit more time now, so I’ll do my best to place Burn After Reading in the Coen Brothers pantheon. Den of Geek did this awhile back with a Coen Ready Reckoner, but only three stars for No Country is insane. No stars from me on this version. Given that the Coen Brothers worst movie is still probably three stars from someone else, take this list with a grain of salt (except for Intolerable Cruelty, Catherine Zeta Jones is horrible). Also, it’s been awhile since I’ve watched some of these movies, so forgive me if I slag off on your favorite. I’m also cutting out movies they only directed parts of.

Anyway, here we go.

The Big Lebowski (I can’t count how many times I’ve watched this one, and it stays funny.)
No Country For Old Men
O Brother, Where Art Thou?
Fargo
Burn After Reading
Raising Arizona
Miller’s Crossing
Blood Simple (I forgot how good the Brothers were at suspense.)
Barton Fink
The Man Who Wasn’t There
The Hudsucker Proxy (It didn’t get me at the time I saw it, I have to watch it again now that I’m older.)
The Ladykillers
Intolerable Cruelty

I know; I should seek out and watch Crimewave, just to see the only collaboration between the Coen Brothers, Bruce Campbell, and Sam Raimi. I’m going to catch Menno’s Mind on cable and watch it from the beginning ASAP, too. (It’s been doing the rounds on Showtime.)

Feel Good Friday (err, Saturday)

Nothing says sleazy rock and roll like burlesque performers, Lemmy, and Dave Grohl grinning like an idiot. Can’t say I blame him, though. If I made millions of dollars and got to hang out with my rock and roll heroes, I’d be grinning too.